Left Out..

Before begin this post, I would like to introduce myself for English speakers who might be accidentally reading my post,
I am not native speaker, and Thai is my first language. So, I would make a lot of mistakes, and some sentences could be unclear to understand. Additionally, writing skill is my weakness.

However, I'm trying to improve writing skill, through this method.
I would be appreciated for your understanding and respect. Plus, it would be wonderful if you correct some of my mistakes.

In this modern century, our connection goes in advance. As an international student, I never felt afraid of going aboard. Yet, I was so excited being " alone " in this long distance.

Let me just tell you guys a little bit about my background,
My family and I are super close to each other. I am the oldest among my siblings. I was raised strictly but fully of unconditional love from my parents. That is the reason why fly away from home is seemingly a massive thing.

I was not worried about far away from home, because technologies nowadays allows us to connect to each other just like we were home.
Yes, I initially felt that, only the first 6 months though.

First 6 months, everything was so new and amusing. I have loved being alone and I enjoyed this freedom. While, I am able to keep in touch with my family and friends.

Mainly, Thai people are using Facebook and Line application (one kind of chatting application) in order to connect to each other, either do I.
I update my life via Facebook and complain things to my people through the application.
I felt like, yeah I am still in a part of them, we are still talking, updating and close to each other just like we did when I were in Thailand.

Day by day, my feeling has been changing. Believe me, if you were an international student who are very close to your people, you would feel the same.
I am feeling " left out ".

Even though we keep chatting, "likes", "comments" or face time, I can feel the difference. I saw my best friends went out, had dinner, or traveled together. I saw my family were cerebrating Chinese new year (I am haft Chinese) they gathered together but there was not "me" in the picture anymore. I saw my friends posted my favorite food. etc.

Whereas, I see myself sitting "alone" and quietly scrolling down my phone screen.

Apparently, Connecting through social media is just " unreal ". I don't have real time with them. I cannot touch, hug, laugh, eat, and so on with my people, but they are doing.

Seemingly, social media makes people link each other. It is a tools of a world wide connection. Although It is easy, fast, and up to date, social media cannot replace any of " realists ". It cannot provide real feeling, real love, real laugh, real encouragement, and every kind of real.
 
Today, I was complaining about something. My best friends listened and encouraged me and they made me laugh.

Yes, I was laughing alone while they are laughing together.

I ended up with laughing with my sad and lonely tear, because this laugh was not "real".
I am feeling alone.. still..